A letter to my baby on her 3rd Birthday

Happy Birthday beautiful girl. It's hard to believe that it's been 3 years since we said hello and goodbye to you.

You would know how much has been happening here since your last birthday. We moved into our new house, and we have proudly hung your photo up. Your baby brother also turned up safely in May. I know you are looking over him and protecting him. He always looks at your photo, and sometimes I think it's as if he already knows who you are.

Your dad and I just miss you so much. I always wonder who you would look like, would you have my features or look more like your dad. Would you be happy, would you have slept. I think sometimes the what ifs are the things that make me saddest. You should be here with us, a happy healthy 3 year old, but instead you are in heaven looking over us.

Keep a look out for your balloons this afternoon, make sure you share them with all of your friends up there.

I love you and miss you
Mum

Feeling a bit down

February for me is a very difficult month as that was the month that Amy was born.

It is a month full of terrible reminders and extreme sadness.

I think I'm feeling it more this year as Jordan is here now and I really understand what it is I (we) have missed out on.

It's so conflicting as on one hand Jordan gives me so much joy, and yet all I can think about is Amy.

I feel like Jordy is not getting the attention that he deserves due to me being in such an emotional place at the moment.

I wonder all the time what sort of personality Amy would have had, would she have resembled me or Fred, would she be cruisy and relaxed like Fred or trouble like me...

I just miss her so much :(